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Oh, you’re surprised I’m still single? I’m surprised you can dress yourself. So I guess we’re even.
Looks like Waldo got on the malasian plane.. well played waldo.. well played..
Is it too early for extra nog in my egg?
Roses are red. Violets are blue. Faces like yours belong in the zoo. Don’t be mad, I’ll be there too. Not in the cage but laughing at you.
So another day has come and gone and I still haven`t used algebra
I don`t like country music, but I don`t mean to denigrate those who do. And for the people who like country music, denigrate means `put down`.
It was so cold that when we milk the cows we got ice cream.
I’m in no shape to exercise.
My life may be a mess but at least I didn`t make a harlem shake video.
My "To Do" list today only had one entry: "Nothing". And it took me all day to finish it!
Is it bad when I’m talking to myself and I’m not even listening?
There are 15 year olds skating in the Olympics and I can’t even walk down my driveway in winter.
Browsing the internet when bored is like the virtual version of checking the refrigerator...
A recent study has found that woman who carry little extra weight live longer then the man who mention it
My scars tell a story. A story about a guy who`s really f*cking clumsy.