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Just slung my bra off & threw it to the other side of the couch where there are already 2 other bras. If my math is right, it`s Wednesday.
Types of like on facebook: 1.Stalker like. 2.Crush like. 3.I wanna bang you like. 4.Agree like 5.Pity like.
Why do they lock gas station bathrooms? Are they afraid someone will clean them?
Does eating a gas station hot dog counts as a suicide attempt.
Synonym: Word used in place of the one you can`t spell.
A vegan friend on FB said if we had to kill our own food, we wouldn`t eat meat... I think if he had to build his own computer he couldn`t whine on FB.
Juvenile humor My friend David lost his ID. We just call him Dav now. Here`s your sign..................
I`m the opposite of psychic. I don`t even know what I`m thinking! ;)
I got a job at Bath and Body Works just so I can tell people to smell my finger...
My new diet is not buying things at the store that make the cashier say wow someone`s having a party
Today`s the day I like to sneak onto the intercom at Walmart and say "would Jason Voorhees please report to aisle 13."
Stay positive ladies, maybe he just didn’t hear you the first 100 times.
Someone asked me if I`m ever scared that I`ll be alone forever, which I thought was so rude because my cat was right there.
Laughter is the best medicine, but if you are laughing for no reason, you might need medicine.
Sweating is for people who do stuff.