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sometimes i look at people and think really, thats the sperm that won.
*Learns sign language to keep arguing with boyfriend while giving the silent treatment*
My kids wanna have a water balloon fight later, I just got done putting mine in the freezer... Wanna bet I win...
My new years resolution was to lose 30 lbs by the end of summer... I`ve only got 40 lbs to go.
We`re up to Fast n Furious #6. Shouldn`t they just create a weekly TV series?
Each day is a gift, but some days are socks and underwear
Just completed my sexual harassment training and I think I`m finally ready to start harassing people.
An apple a day will keep anyone away ... if thrown hard enough.
I`m just looking for a reason not to drink
When life gives you lemons... all you need is tequila (and salt).
I have to stop saying "How stupid can you be?" I think people are taking it as a challenge.
I took a sexual harassment course today, I think this is actually something I might be pretty good at
Before I lose my phone, end up naked, drunk and/or possibly arrested, I would like to wish you all a Happy Independence Day.
"Love your friends, Not their sisters." & "Love your sisters, Not their friends." -By Mummy...
2015 and I still can`t believe it`s not butter!