Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Screw it, I’m starting Friday now.
Ended a relationship today. Don`t worry, it wasn`t mine.
You seem to love cocktails... or part of it.
Drunk me loves creating awkward encounters for sober me.
Have some fun with your life...call in sick to places you dont even work at.
You know it`s been a good day when you finally take your pajamas off - and put some new ones on.
Hating everything saves countless hours of decision making.
I`d take Cap`n Crunch more seriously if his eyebrows weren`t on his hat.
Creating a password in this day and age After the 9th try OKNowI`mReallyMad50BoiledCabbagesUpYourArseIfYouDon`tGiveMeAccessImmediately! `Sorry, that password is already in use`
This year rather than candy for your valentine why not liquor instead.
I woke up praying McDonald`s would still be serving breakfast but I just missed it by 6 hours.
Just assume that we aren’t close enough for you to send me a game invites on Facebook.
Most of my colleagues and friends can`t spell colleagues or friends.
Every pizza is a personal pizza if you eat the entire thing.
"I need to talk to you” is the one sentence that has the power to make you remember every bad thing you’ve ever done in your life.