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Good thing girls started uploading pictures next to a pool with the caption "Summer is finally here!" or we wouldn`t have known it`s summer.
I am currently unsupervised ... I know, it freaks me out too. But the possibilities are endless!
If Apple made a car, would it have windows?
The only thing I understand about Algebra: I look at my X and I wonder Y
If this cold snowy weather doesn`t clear up soon, I may never get in the mood to take down the Christmas tree-
I am not judging you...I already decided I don`t like you
If I pretend to be dead will you stop talking?
25% of of the women in this country are on medication for mental illness. The other 75% are running around untreated.
If he pauses a video game to text you, he`s probably already losing, no need to feel special or anything,
Magician: Now I will cut the woman in half. Me: Why turn one problem into two?
When girls flash its called, "girls gone wild" when men flash its call ... "America`s most wanted"
Please ignore this status, I am standing alone and I don`t want to seem like a total loner, so I am making it look like I am texting
Iām not saying I need to manscape, but when I get an erection it looks like Pinocchio has joined the Taliban.
A 5 year old asked me what marriage is like. So I gave him a chocolate bar and told him not to eat it.
Me and my cat have been staring at each other for so long I forgot which one of us is stoned.