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Nothing is as scary as logging into Facebook and seeing someone you were secretly with last night has uploaded a new album.
lol <- looks like a stick man drowning. lol
I changed the audio of my GPS to a man`s voice. Now it just says "It`s around here somewhere. Keep driving for a little while."
If everyone would stop screaming, I`m sure we`d all agree I`m not supposed to be in this women`s restroom.
For the record when I was a kid I never wanted to be an adult.
One thing I think the world can agree upon… Any day when you can stay in pajamas the whole time is a good day.
Much like a dog, men will pretty much do anything you want if you feed them first.
Congratulations! You`ve won a lifetime supply of air: Not valid under water, in space, when dead, or while choking.
I`m out of bacon. This is my suicide note.
If you piss off a girl, just play dead. That sh!t works with bears and they`re just as dangerous as angry women.
The Bible is Christianity’s Terms of Service. Nobody actually reads it, but as long as u agree to everything in it, u can use the Heaven app
Well, well, well. Guess who the grocery store clerk asked to come back soon?
Imagine if someone`s name was Gurt. You`d be all "yo gurt!" .. funny? no? Ok (._.)
I´m not insensitive, I just don´t care.
I think that some of the people I see in Wal Mart shouldn`t be allowed to leave Wal Mart.