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When we are small, our mom`s would use really small forks as spoons to feed us...But what about Chinese moms? Would they use toothpicks?
Sorry that offended you, I really didn’t think you’d get it.
Sometimes I feel as though my life should be documented for future generations.
I hate when I text a girl "I love you" and she`s like "no you don`t." Like bitch, I just fapped to your profile picture, I think I`d know.
Texting totally changes your perception of how long stoplights are.
Yes I walked away mid-conversation. You were boring me to death and my survival instincts kicked in.
Just give me coffee and no one gets hurt.
You actually have friends? Yeah bro, all 10 seasons on DVD.
just watched my first full episode of jersey shore... #ashamed of new entertainment
Sometimes I like to lie in bed, stare at the ceiling and think what it would be like to stare at other ceilings.
I think they put less beers in twelve packs these days.
Word of the day is bishop: My aunt fell down the stairs and I had to pick the bishop.
If someone threw a rock and knocked me off my donkey, would I be stoned off my a$$?
Facebook is like a fridge full of old food you know what is in your fridge but still you go and check if it changed.
Is it ok to ask a very pregnant librarian if she`s overdue?