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You can stop lifting weights now; it’s actually your personality that nobody likes.
I don’t have an attitude problem… You have a problem with my attitude… That’s your problem, not mine.
Monday is like canned spinach...I can can deal with it but I`d prefer something else.
my ex girlfriends started they`re own website they call it two faced book...
The best part about being at work on Friday is that it gives me 9 hours to figure out what I`m going to drink tonight.
I love using my GPS, problem is I can`t find it.
Do you know what really makes me smile? Facial muscles.
I`m already going to hell ... now I`m just trying to get a good spot.
You would never know I had a college degree if you saw how many times I tried to push when it says pull.
It`s a good thing Taylor Swift and Adele aren`t dating. Imagine if they broke up.
No one`s lazier than the guy who came up with the name for Juicy Juice.
Today is that day where anything you read online could be totally made up. Oh, wait, that`s every day.
Lazy Rule #23 :No Shower Is Needed, If your Not Going Anywhere...
So your baby doesn`t know any tricks at all?
You can get away with farting at the zoo because you can always blame the animals...