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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

I am creating the first ever "flavored windows". They should make some of you very happy.
I got some new underwear. Well, new to me...
Why does the alphabet need to be in order anyway
The good thing about being 6' 6? is that if I develop a bald patch, no one will see it..Unless you’re using Google Earth.
I had been dreaming about eating a giant marshmallow, when I woke up my pillow was gone! :O
The worst thing about rich people is I`m not one of them.
I`m going to stand outside, so if anyone asks I am outstanding.
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet ! But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
I can walk up to any dog, rub its butt and make a friend. That trick only works about half the time on people.
Chickens: The only animals you eat before they`re born AND after they`re dead.
You say toilet, I say alcohol vomit receptacle.
It`s really cold out there folks. If you`re heading to Wal-Mart, please wear two pairs of pajamas.
Most people who think I`m a nice person have no idea that I`d trade any one of my kids for a deep dish pizza.
I have a confession to make... "I want to get back with my ex"...LOL Just Kidding..."I`d rather shit in my hands and clap !"
Bad decisions make good stories.