Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
In the beginning, God created the earth and rested. Then God created man and rested. Then God created woman. Since then, neither God or man has rested.
when she says "size doesn`t matter" what she really means is "I have been disappointed before." :)
I bet there are muppets that have thought about shanking Elmo
Delete cookies? Why on Earth would I want to do that?! I LOVE COOKIES
Sometimes I feel as though my life should be documented for future generations.
Facebook prank #23 Go in everynight and change your birthday to the next day...then see how long it takes for people to catch on....
Always remember, it`s better to arrive late than to arrive ugly.
I remember when downloading a song meant trying to tape it off the radio while hoping the DJ didn´t talk over the song.
My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick. Especially since his name is Mike.
I have no super powers. I`m guessing I`m the villain.
Rob Stalker for congressman........Stalker....a name you can trust.
If nobody hates you, you are doing something boring.
I google myself sometimes just to know what the hell I`m up to. ;)
Not sure if people stopped saying YOLO or if everyone who said it died.
Sweating is for people who do stuff.