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Why is it called "Alien vs Predator"? Isn`t predator an alien too? They should`ve just called it "Some Aliens"
If I go sleep at 6 in the morning, does it mean I go to sleep early or late?
Sometimes the first step to forgiveness is understanding… that the other person is a complete idiot!
I don`t get enough credit for not going on killing sprees.
Remember, Christmas is over if you sit on a strangers lap now and ask for stuff it`s because you`re a whore.
The judge says I`m a repeat offender, but he always says that.
Even though I`m a guy I still get nervous when I pee on a pregnancy test.
I`m opening a bar called The Office. You`re welcome guys. "Be home soon sweetie, I`m at The Office"
Just once I want my boss to assume I`m tired in the morning because I fight crime all night, not because of all the booze I drank.
I like to gaze up at the stars at night and think about how somewhere there is intelligent life that hates doing laundry as much as I do.
I noticed tonight that I was the hottest cashier at the self checkout line.
Nothing makes me more productive than the last minute.
The only correct answer to the question are you sleeping is no.
Of all the horrible ways to die I think healthy eating sounds the most painful.
Well, if you`re going to question my reputation and credentials as a gynecologist,I suggest you get the hell out of my office van.