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There are no bad pictures. That`s just how your face looks sometimes.
Ended a relationship today. Don`t worry, it wasn`t mine.
I hate wasting alcohol on social occasions.
You should probably take everything I say with a grain of salt. And lime. And shot of tequila.
So when is this `old enough to know better` suppose to kick in ?
Why is it when you run into a spider web, you suddenly turn into a ninja?
I get as much action as a white crayon.
It`s so strange to think that before Facebook all of this nonsense just stayed in people`s heads
Does Holy Crap comes from Holy Cow.?
I used to think drinking was bad until i stopped thinking
Ignoring things don`t make them go away, it makes them drunk dial you.
I only party on 2 occasions. 1. When it’s my birthday 2. When it’s not…
I drank so much vodka last night I woke up with a Russian accent.
I can`t wait til the Presidential race ends so we can stop hating people for their politics and go back to hating people because they`re jerks
is ready to have one too many!