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Hey Samsung and Apple, no need for commercials. We’ve all chosen sides.
I`m now fit to make my regular annual resolution. The accomplishment is the problem
True love doesn`t care about the look or size of your wallet, it`s all about what`s inside ..... the wallet.
Happy Hallogivemas!!!!!! It`s the time of year when the stores sell Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas stuff all on ONE aisle!
You know those people who get all excited and lovey with puppies at pet stores? Same. But I`m in a liquor store.
The secret to success is in my bra.
Moving all my retirement funds into a Colorado snack machine franchise.
To understand paranoid people better, follow them around.
Yes I admit I am a freak. Now, grab some whip cream, some feathers, handcuffs, blindfold, a whip and follow me into the kitchen.
Being able to eat while watching Hannibal makes you more of a psychopath than anyone on the show.
I wonder if there are any times on the clock that I have never seen.
After I die, there are some people I’m going to haunt the sh!t out of.
It`s the weekend!!! The " Responsible Adult Button" has been switched to OFF!!
Wonders why we can`t just all get a Long....Island Iced Tea?!?
First rule of Pizza club, you don’t share it.