Daily Silly Status

My level of sarcasm is to the point where I don`t even know if I`m kidding or not.

If a woman shaves her legs for you, at least every other day, in the Winter time, it`s Love.

One of my biggest fear is being chased by Usain Bolt during zombie apocalypse.

someone took my mood ring away... dont know how i feel about it

I wonder if any Disney managers ever start a meeting off with "What kind of Mickey Mouse operation are we running around here?"

Do you ever go on youtube just to watch a music video then 5 hours later you find yourself watching a tutorial on how to talk to a giraffe?

Ever seen a person so disgusting you hold your breath when you walk by them? Yea I have.

Two things I am thankful for: 1: Family and friends. 2: Caller ID, so I can avoid certain family and friends.

Everybody stop what you`re doing and play with crayons! You`re wlecome, enjoy the day.

At Starbucks drive up window. Me: large iced chai please Them: you mean a venti? Me: large iced chai. Them: we call a large a venti. Me: Do you want a large tip or a venti tip? Them: large iced chai, please pull up.

Whenever being single gets me down, I like to close my eyes, take a deep breath and then go do whatever I want pretty much nonstop.

My relationship with whiskey has been on the rocks lately

I wonder whether I can trust doctors with dead plants in the waiting room.

My stove top knob reads, LO | 2 | 4 | 6 | 8 | 10 | HI......so what is Med-High, Medium Low?...They just need to lay it out for me in numbers! Like "set stove top to 8." no wait, 9.? Food manufacturerers and stove manufactuerers need to get toghether on this! So let me see,..... (me thinking)....if ten is high...5 is medium that means 7.5..... WAIT!.....low would be 0 so HI would be 12???....WTF!!! forget about simmer!........HEY KIDS! WHO WANTS PIZZA!

A stress ball, made of concrete, and to throw at the person who`s stressing you out.