Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I believe in magic because it`s the only way to explain how fitted sheets get folded.
Relax, we`re all crazy. It`s not a competition.
I`m pretty sure if someone broke into my house, my dog would just show them how much he likes to lick his balls
I`m at my neighbor`s house having a delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home.
slugs are snails that are going through a divorce
Things that make women emotional- 1) sad movies 2) love stories 3) anything 4) everything
"This isn`t my first rodeo" -Guy at his second rodeo
I put the b!tch in the kitchen.~ last thing I remember saying before I woke up in the hospital.
There is a very fine line between "hobby" and "mental illness."
why were you in my dreams again? i`m starting to think you`re stalking me.
Sobriety is an illusion created by alcohol deficiency.
Seriously, it’s almost 2014, can we please get some waterproof phones? I would like to text in the shower.
Sorry I poked you all over your body, but I was just looking for the off button.
I hope daylight savings time doesnt throw me off my schedule of doing nothing.
Today we salute Vodka~ruining family reunions and supporting hilarious `hold my drink` moments for 50 years...