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Not sure if this Adderall is working but I just made a pros and cons list about pros and cons lists.
I hear the Pink Panther song when I sneak down the hall for a midnight snack..
How can I love nature when it did this to my hair?
If you can’t laugh at yourself, call me… I’ll do it.
A psychologist is selling a video that teaches you how to test your dog’s IQ. Here’s how it works: If you spend $12.99 for the video, your dog is smarter than you.
The heat index is somewhere between OMG and WTF!
Just watched The Grey. The wolves left half the Mexican .. to spicy??
It is a sad day when you go to all the trouble of getting a Frontal Lobotomy and no one notices.....................
There’s actually a thing called “Play Dates “ in 2018. In 1984 we called that “Going outside to play”
Don`t be sad, laundry. Nobody is doing me either.
I just found a whip, a mask and handcuffs in my mom’s bedroom. I can’t believe it.. She’s a superhero!
Well if you didn`t want me to fall in love with you, why did you tell me you had nachos?
If Facebook has taught us anything, it`s that a lot of people are not quite ready for a Spelling Bee.
Honking your horn is fun but rolling down your window and screaming “honk” at people is just way more satisfying.
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if I’m right!!!!