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I am sorry I had feelings. I`ll replace them with jokes right away.
Getting over body issues is a like getting over a fear of heights. The trick is not to look down.
I love everyone these days... Some I love to be around, some I love to avoid, and others, I`d love to punch in the face...
I don`t know about you . But everytime I go on Twitter , I get this weird feeling , I am being followed.
The Internet makes things so convenient. Before it existed, if you wanted to order a DVD online, you had to invent the Internet.
Dating a single mother is like pressing continue on some one elses saved game
Look, all I`m saying is that the dinosaurs didn`t drink alcohol and look what happened to them.
Don’t get your panties in a bunch. The nicer ones are sold individually.
How do American chickens cross the road? In a bucket.
What Flickering Lights Mean: 1% Electrical problems 99% demons and sh!t.
Humpty Dumpty was pushed I tell ya. PUSHED!!!!!!
It’s funny how 1 text, 1 song, 1 mistake, 1 lie, 1 truth, and 1 person could change your mood in 1 second.
Good friends don’t let you do dumb things… alone.
Don`t tell me to make myself at home if you don`t want me to drop my pants and download porn on your computer.
People who weigh their produce. What`s it like to have all the time in the world?