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I just made 3 critical errors: 1. I woke up for work. 2. I went to work. 3. I arrived at work.
loves infomercials, but claiming that a product promotes weight loss when combined with diet and exercise is like claiming it grants wishes when used with a leprechaun.
So,do people in England speaks American now that people in America speaks English?
The lyrics for "hush little baby" are basically saying "I will buy you anything if you just shut the hell up"
I always tell new hires, don`t think of me as your boss, think of me as your friend who can fire you`re ass
Today is "National Take Your Flask To Work Day." ... I just made it up. Tell the others.
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and barks like a pig, then I probably took too many pills.
Tequila... It`s not just for breakfast anymore...
If A-B-C-D didn’t drag out their part of the Alphabet song, LMNOP wouldn’t have to be so rushed.
Don`t put off for tomorrow what you can do today, because if you enjoy it today you can do it again tomorrow.
I’m great at multitasking. I can waste time, be unproductive, and procrastinate all at once.
For lent I`m giving up sex, wait I`m not Catholic. Whoa, that was close
The Braille on the drive-thru ATM actually says, "Move to the passenger seat"
Sometimes, entire relationships can be chalked up to, "that weird thing I did for a while."
Sometimes, when my husband has a day off, I like to bring the TV remote with me to work.