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Teamwork is just another way of saying we will soon be sharing in the blame equally.
Sometimes I lie awake at night and ask "Where have I gone wrong?" Then a voice says to me, "Oh dear, this is going to take more than one night."
I’m sorry, your photo is so confusing. You’re gonna need to hashtag every detail of it for me so I can grasp what’s going on here.
Sit-ups are my favorite form of exercise because I get to lay down every few seconds.
Maybe Voldemort`s face is flat because he ran into the wrong wall at the train station.
Meanwhile on Facebook, someone has made a casserole...
If you think your wife has a great sense of humor, try leaving a trail of rose petals leading to a sink full of dirty dishes. Not the best idea a man ever had ;)
If kids get money for losing teeth, what do I get for all this hair I’m losing?
My number one rule to live by is: Don’t die.
Inspirational status of the day: Don`t be a douche.
Blue&Black or White&Gold? Who cares what color the dress is, so long as its balled up on the floor of my bedroom.
If she burns the bacon, she`s no good bro
I would like my FB friends to know that the opinions and comments I make on FB in no way reflect the actual thoughts, opinions or actions of me, or my family. Its all for fun. The only posts that I actually mean are the same ones you agree with.
Being an adult is mostly just wondering if the stuff in the dishwasher is dirty or clean while eating soup out of a sand castle bucket.
My friend is showing me her new vegan handbag. I know vegans can be annoying, but should we really be making accessories out of them?