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They say that being successful and living well is the best revenge. That may be so, but rubbing your naked ass all over someone`s cell phone when they aren`t looking is pretty good too ?
Rapper; "I`m killing them snitches, smacking then bitches, smokin blunts and f*ckin hoes!" *wins award* Rapper: "I just wanna thank god.."
Auctioneers are proof white guys could rap if they tried hard enough.
I hate in video games how penguins always use their ability to slide on their stomachs for evil
You need a high five, in the face, with a chair.
The worst part about being alone is I don`t have anyone to get me a beer from the fridge.
IRS: We`ve got what it takes to take what you`ve got.
I`ll be posting telepathically today.. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
When you leave store without buying anything and all you can think is `keep calm, you`re innocent`.
I give movies with 2 stars a 5 on Netflix because if I sat through this piece of sh!t, I want you to as well.
"Woo, I`m on a roll today, baby!" -butter
I get paid to be nice at work. Not sure why my family and friends expect that for free.
"Be strong" I whisper to my coffee.
If your having a bad day, remember that somewhere on this big planet, someone just lost their straw in a capri sun!!
A new study has found that men have a hard time reading women`s facial expressions. Main reason? They usually aren`t looking at her face.