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That awkward moment when you get in the van... And there`s no candy.
I saw this wino, he was eating grapes. I was like "Dude, you have to wait."
Home sounds like a nice place, until they say they’re going to put you in one.
Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7th of your life.
Water is the most essential element of life, because without water, you can’t make coffee.
Who decided that the abbreviation for pound should be two letters not in the word?
I go out all day looking good and saw no one I know. I go out for 5 minutes looking like sh!t and it`s all of the sudden a f*cking reunion.
Sadly, the days of people using proper English are went.
Keep reaching for the stars but please get a better deodorant.
I have problems cleaning my house because I get distracted by all the fun things I find.
Don`t judge me. I was born to be awesome, not perfect.
The original creator of the phrase “common sense” surely didn’t know many people.
R.I.P. 2013 (2013-2013)
When I rule the world, it will be illegal to have an opinion until you`ve proven that you are not an idiot.
Like a good neighbor,I don`t really care.