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You know the fun part of your life is over when people around you are getting pregnant on purpose.
The Hobbit 2: we`ve still got a long way to walk
Why don’t television shows say, “You will be delighted to know that this program contains strong sexual content?”
My wife is going to the hair salon today so for the next few hours I will be practising my reaction.
Coaster? You`re assuming I plan to put my drink down...
Weekends are like a orgasm.. It`s takes a lot to get there and when u finally do it`s over in no time
I`m at my neighbor`s house having a delicious dinner. Hope I finish before they get home.
She was rare, like an onion ring in french fries
I want the time management skills of people who effortlessly carve out entire hours to be offended by every single thing on the internet.
We`re all just nudists in disguise...
Taken names of employees from various stores and calling in sick for them, just to make it feel like I have a job. . .
The best way to get a man to do something is to suggest he’s too old for it.
There are sick days, paid holidays, and vacation days. What about "Don`t have any gas to make it to work days"
I`m 99% sure you think I`m weird. And I`m 100% sure I don`t care.
All cookies are "bite size" if you believe in yourself enough.