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Diet tip: your pants will never get too tight if you don’t wear any.
The problem with trouble is that it always starts out as fun.
I`ve taken my kids all over the country, but their favorite place to be is still "in the way."
I really think that Caller ID needs to be more detailed. It should say things like "Wants help moving" or "Will whine about bad relationship."
"Three blind mice" is probably the most popular nursery rhyme about animal cruelty
I got a lot more sleep back when phones were only used for calling people.
I hate when men`s restrooms have no urinals and a bunch of women in them.
Worrying: a waste of imagination.
Survival rule #1: Don`t go first.
I`m tired of doing math. I guess I`ll get my lazy as up and fix my clocks today
I went to Jared for my girlfriend`s Christmas gift. I`m sure she will love her Subway gift card.
And all this time I thought a chickpea was when women went to the bathroom in groups.
I like to stand 20 ft in front of the Walmart greeter and greet people before he gets a chance.
I`ll see your fun outdoor activity and raise you a nap.
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