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I have to be careful what I say online because my kids might find out how cool I am and want to start hanging out with me.
No matter how old you are ... swingsets are cool.
Just ONCE, I`d like to look deep into your beautiful eyes, and make hot sweet love with you without some pop-up window ruining the mood.
It`s hard to diet when your favorite exercise is chewing...
You guys, how can true love still exist if we don`t have mixed tapes anymore?
( )( ) =( `-` )= <( . )> ("`)("`) bunny!!
The sound of children laughing makes me happy. Unless I`m home alone and my power goes out.
Your giving me the silent treatment??? FKN FINALLY!!
Im afraid to go outside or even sit next to a window during an lightening storm. Im afraid that I`ll get zapped! I`m scared that God is gonna get me!!!
My boss hates it when I shorten his name to Dick. Especially since his name is Mike.
If God didn`t want us to eat Animals he wouldn`t made them out of meat.
Getting old sucks. I use to wake up feeling like a million bucks. Now I feel more like a bounced check.
We’ve solved so many world problems, and yet chocolate still has calories.
Pretty sure one of my ex-girlfriends added the, "are you still listening?" feature on Pandora.
2015 and I still can`t believe it`s not butter!