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My wife is so annoying. "Do you think I`m sexy? Am I hot? How gorgeous am I? Do I have a nice ass?" I just want her to answer me.
Laugh if you will but this night-light has an undefeated record at repelling Boogeymen.
"Let`s give the bad guy a ponytail." - 80s movies
I said I was good at making decisions. I didn`t say the decisions I made were good.
Did I already do my deja vu joke?
Possible Fact: White guys with corn rows make dangerous zombies, cuz you can`t possibly run away while laughing that hard at the same time.
For the record, you`ll need a turntable needle.
The Four Seasons, by Facebook: Spring: LOOK FLOWERS! Summer: LOOK AT MY DASHBOARD TEMP! Fall: LOOK LEAVES! Winter: MORE DASHBOARD PICS!
If you want to give me dirty looks for being at the liquor store at 9am, don`t be open.
It’s too bad that it’s easier to get older than it is to get wiser.
Never take advice from people on the Internet. Not even this.
has a drinking problem...I can`t afford it
if your dirty, your dirty... you cant fix it
If I had a penny for everytime I heard you bitch at me I`d have enough money to invest in a hitman
My "Savings Account" is just several pairs of unwashed jeans on the floor that may or may not still have change in the pockets.