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Have you ever tried blind-folded archery? You don`t know what you`re missing.
They say swearing is due to limited vocabulary. I know thousands of words, but I still prefer`f*ck off` to `go away`.
Difference between men and women: Women can change their mind whenever they want. Men can change their mind whenever the woman wants.
It`s called instant messaging for a reason. ..if I wanted to wait a week for a reply, I`d of sent a bloody letter
No matter how old you are ... swingsets are cool.
I wonder how seaworld would react if I walked in there with a fishing pole....
Ever notice that people who spend money on beer, cigarettes and lottery tickets, are always complaining about being broke and not feeling well?
Hey, if it doesn`t work out, we can still be friends. Said no guy ever
There’s been over 30 billion messages posted on Facebook, and yet most of us have never even talked to our neighbors.
Why is there a Stairway to heaven and a highway to hell? There is a lot more traffic going to hell
Funerals are so depressing, when I die I want to be fed to a shark or something cool.
Don`t just be one of those people who stares at their phone or computer twelve hours a day. It`s important to also watch some TV.
I just saw a 3D printer at the UPS store. It`s kind of cool, but I won`t be impressed until it can print snacks...
I got in touch with my inner child and the little sh!t hung up on me.
Doctors are saying that each piece of bacon you eat takes 9 minutes off your life.... Based on the math, I should have died in 1732.