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Telling someone they shouldn`t be sad because others have it worse is like telling someone they shouldn`t be happy because others have it better.
"I don`t know why people dislike jury duty. I think being able to play god with others` lives sounds fun!" - How I got out of jury duty
Accidentally missed the freeway exit for home, now Iām heading north to start a new life.
I love how music can take you to another place. For example One Direction is playing in this cafe so now I`m going to a different cafe.
Bad decisions and good stories or good decisions and no stories?
Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I`m pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.
I tried to open a can of WhoopAss,, but it popped like a can of biscuits and scared me.
I wish I could just cut out the middleman and have the light honk when it turns green.
I don`t like it here anymore. As soon as I find my pants, I`m leaving!
Parenting is no different than a bear attack. Curl up and play dead and they usually leave you alone.
Oh, a spider just landed on my desk... In other news,,, When startled, I can jump 5 feet in the air with just the power of my ass cheeks.
Hi you`ve reached my voicemail,,, Please leave your name, number and a damn good reason why this conversation couldn`t be done over text
The only reason any of us can spell laboratory is because of Dexter.
You ever want to just grab someone and say, WTF is wrong with you?
Its so cold outside I might even post about it on Facebook