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If you take Viagra with iron supplements it will cause you spin around and point North.
There’s a wild side to EVERY innocent face.
Two days is not enough time for a weekend.
I don`t care how smart your phone is, it`s not going to change how stupid you are.
I’m what you would call “indoorsy”
How to make a Vodka Christmas cake. . (Made mine this morning!!!!) 1 cup sugar, 1 tsp. baking powder, 1 cup water, 1 tsp. salt , 1 cup brown sugar, Lemon juice, 4 large eggs, Nuts, 1......bottle Vodka, 2 cups dried fruit. Sample a cup of Vodka to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the Vodka again to be... sure it is of the highest quality then Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add 1 teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point, it is best to
Its a shame I don`t have 5 incomes to go with my 5 personalities.. Damn free loaders
If you ever need anything please don`t hesitate to ask someone else first.
I know you`re supposed to have 3 balanced meals a day, but how many can I have at night?
I`d like to eat healthy, but we all know what happened that time Eve ate an apple. Best not to risk it.
If u think I talk to much, just let me know. We can talk about it!
Stop complaining about the rain. Cause rain makes corn and corn makes whiskey.
My favorite thing about working out is the part where I decide not to.
I almost talked my way out of a ticket today by telling a female cop she was very attractive, but things went sour when I said "and that`s not just the booze talking either".
You must be a parking ticket or something for the word FINE is written all over you.