Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Now there’s Adderall to perk up, Xanax to calm down, Prozac to feel normal. In my day we drank beer for all three.
Girls are like guitars: easy to strum, hard to tune
One day, I will solve my problems with maturity. Today, however, it will be with alcohol.
I didn`t want to grow up; I just wanted to be able to reach the cookies.
There’s too much blood in my caffeine system
You never hear skinny people saying, "I`m just small boned."
Why isn’t our beer color coordinated for all holiday occasions, instead of just St. Patricks Day?
You know what I like about people? Their dogs.
I don’t drink water, unless it’s been through a brewery first.
Agreeing to disagree is lame. Let’s agree to take turns slapping each other until one of us admits we were wrong.
I woke up feeling strange this morning...I felt Rested and Relaxed so I immediately Googled my symptoms. Turns out I had a `Sleep in` Apparently it`s not harmful but may be addictive. . .
My bf just got out of jail. Says life in jail for him was a big pain in the a$$
Why is it called a menstrual calendar and not a flow chart?
Serving sarcasm with a smile since 1984.
Don`t sweat the petty things and don`t pet the sweaty things.