Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Honesty is the best policy, unless you`re trying to return something that you`ve already worn.
My girlfriend just threw away a bubble wrap without popping it. Just like that. I`m dating an animal :(
You make me want to be a better class of psycho.
At the end of the day, it`s 11:59pm.
It`s amazing how we are very good lawyers for our own mistakes and very good Judges for other people`s mistakes.
Should vegetarians eat animal crackers? ;)
If you really want to impress me with the year a bottle of wine was made, bring me one from 2024....
"Is that for here or to go?" —Real estate agent selling a mobile home
I can`t wait to be rich so I can price things from high to low instead of low to high when shopping online.
I was going to do stand up comedy years ago but then I thought ...Ugghhh, standing...
I once shot a man with a paintball gun just to watch him dye.
I bet giraffes don`t even know what farts smell like.
Worst part about getting a phone call is the 12 seconds you can`t use your phone as you wait for it to stop ringing.
Did we try giving the government a snickers?
Alright, I give up! I`ve listened to the song like 50 times now, and I still don`t know what the fox is saying!