Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
My neighbor`s are going out of town for the weekend so I finally have the house to myself.
Do you ever bring your pet up to a mirror and you`re just like, "That is you."
Missed Connection: You were standing at the RedBox. I was in my car self pleasuring. I accidentally honked like 8 times.
Sometimes I feel as though my life should be documented for future generations.
I accidentally ran over my neighbour`s cat........... Nine times....... just in case
You know what`s more miraculous than a video with a million view but no dislikes on YouTube? The detention sheet empty for my class.
Why is maple syrup so expensive?.. It grows on trees doesn`t it?
You look like you only got about 5 of your 8 hours of beauty sleep last night...
Nobody notices your pain, your happiness, your sadness, your state of mind. But everyone notices it when you fart in public
Some people just lack the ability to laugh at themselves. That`s where I come in.
Hell, I finally figured out what was wrong with me ... I have been reading the wrong horoscope!!
Those beards make the Red Sox look like they`re going to a Civil War reenactment as Confederates.
Irresponsible is when your neighbor doesn`t pay their wifi bill.
Calling out your ex`s name during sex is a nice way to show your current lover that you won`t forget them after you break up.
Ice skating is just walking in cursive.