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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

Let me be clear, I don`t want to die alone. However I want to be left completely alone until that moment
My son asked what it is like to be married, so I deleted all the music on his ipod except 1 song.
My husband told me that he would leave me if I didn`t give up all my bad habbits.....I nearly choked on my toe nail!
Childless people wondering what it`s like to have some kiddos? Make a lovely healthy breakfast. Take it and throw it all over the floor.
I wonder if they let me grow cannabis on Farmville, I`ll be able to sell it on Mafia Wars?
I saw a sign that said "watch for children" and I thought "that`s a fair trade."
At the Touch of Love..Everyone Becomes a Poet ! But..At the Touch of Breakup Everyone Becomes a Philosopher... ^_^
I want someone to look at me the way I look at cupcakes.
My wife and I have been happily married for two years. 1997 & 2004
There are plenty of fish in the sea, but I like women.
When people see ghosts, why aren`t they naked? Do clothes die and become ghosts too?
My room isn`t messy. I just prefer to have my favorite items on display.
NyQuil is great. I love the way it comes with itΒ΄s own shot glass
Why must I prove I`m me, if I`m callin to pay my bill. Do strangers call to pay my bills? If they do, then let them, you idiots!
Of course women have cleaner minds than men. They change them so damn often.