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I`m actually a pretty normal person when you ignore the faint cries for help coming from my basement..
Sometimes, I drink a glass of water, just to surprise my liver!
the difference between people and celebreties ...... celebreties don`t have a routine
When we give each other a thumbs up, it`s our way of mocking every other animal on earth.
I hope we`re friends until we die and then I hope we stay ghost friends and walk through walls and scare the sh!t out of people.
This status is mine....I licked it.
Waiting for the day when a girl finally says that I’m “the one,” but isn’t talking to a police officer.
The one thing you never wanna hear when your father catches you watching porn is... "Scoot over."
I`m not saying that I`ve been online too long, I`m just saying that when I close my eyes I scroll through my thoughts
If any of you ladies want pancakes for breakfast, just come over....you can make them here, because I want some too
Stop Instagramming words. I`m not following you for your thoughts. Take off your f*cking shirt.
There’s gotta be a better use for the part of my brain that remembers every word to “Baby Got Back.”
I want to grow old and disgusting with you.
Secret Web Cam Test: Please nod your head yes if you can read this.
My sex life is like a Ferrari ... I don`t have a Ferrari