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I hate waiting in lines. I wish this woman would hurry up and pick a suspect.
It`s Friday the 13th. Good thing I`m not superstitious, it`s unlucky to be superstitious...
the `real` me doesnt do facebook
I have no problem texting while driving, but I won’t text while going down stairs. That sh!t’s dangerous.
They might as well put "Uhhh..." in front of every item on drive-thru menus.
Dodgeball, but with random people who don`t know that they are playing..............
Instead of having a child, I intend to spend my life acting like one.
if a guy tells you you`re ugly ; he wants you, if a girl tells you your ugly; she`s jealouse, if you a kid tells you your`re ugly..... you`re ugly.
It`s such a beautiful day I had to open the window while I watched TV
It`s funny how things change when you get older. It seems like just yesterday I would spend my evenings on the front porch and treat myself to some killer weed. Now I spend my
Just tried to kill a snake in the backyard. And by kill I mean screaming as loudly as a human can in an attempt to make its head explode.
People in Detroit call Grand Theft Auto V "Tuesday"
Going to the toilet without your phone is like going to war without a gun
My memory foam has amnesia
The best part of an argument is the make up sex...unless you`re fighting with your brother.