Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`m more confused than a valet parking attendant at a Mary Kay convention.
It`s like my kids don`t even believe how cool I was in the 80s.
April Fools Day has been cancelled this year.
Barbie has an awful lot of things for a girl who`s knees don`t bend.
Never take advice from me, you`ll only end up drunk......
I would eat a lot more salads if they were made out of pizza.
Fun Fact: Vegetarians live up to nine years longer than meat-eaters. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, meatless years.
I`m not a bitch, I just have a low bullsh!t tolerance.
I don’t have nightmares... I create them for others ;-)
There`s no WE in pizza.
I really would love to see two mimes arguing
I`ve dieted and worked out enough to realize that the only way I`m getting smokin` hot is by getting cremated.
You wanna know where I`m ticklish? Hawaii.
Try this... When leaving a fancy restaurant tell the people coming in "I recommend you try the donkey, snail or the squirrel".
I danced like no one was watching but someone was watching, thought I was having a seizure and called an ambulance