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They told me to come here and write something funny, so I`m gonna post my bank account balance: -$4.09
Vegetarians live up to nine years longer. Nine horrible, tedious, meaningless, worthless, baconless, cheeseburgerless, meatless years.
MAN LAW 101: No man should ever be required to buy a birthday present for another man.
I am losing Facebook friends at an alarming rate. Whatever it is that I said, is working like a charm.
I love my six pack so much, I protect it with a layer of fat.
I don’t always have time to study, but when I do, I don’t.
If at first you don´t succeed ..... buy her another drink
He who laughs last didn´t get it.
Hey guys,,, Which sounds better: No longer rabid?, Or rabies free since 2003?........ I`m trying to update my e-harmony profile
I`m starting to think that some of you are misspelling words on porpoise.
My participation in this meeting will be based solely on the snacks they provide.
I made this margarita with my kids` slushie machine ... Don`t judge
tell your boobs to stop staring at my eyes
You never truly appreciate Newton’s laws of motion until you’ve sneezed while going to the bathroom.
Be Poor... Its Cheaper :)