Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Sometimes knowing exactly where you are does not make you any less lost.
lol I rotfl
It`s not illegal to get in a taxi and scream until you`ve reached your destination.
“Delete, Block, Ignore” Its too bad getting rid of people in life is not as easy as it is on Facebook..
I`m fat, but I blame my dog for not exercising me enough.
Humans claim to be the superior species, but a penguin can use its own body as a toboggan so who`s the real winner?
I decided I really need to read more. I watch way to much TV ... So I turned on the subtitles.
I went to the missing persons` beurau. No one was there.
Sorry, I can`t delete any of my voicemails cause then people would be able to leave me a new one
You know you can`t say "happiness" without saying "p*nis"
The best trick the devil ever pulled was calling herself "him".
Adam didn`t take any crap from Eve. He wore the plants in that relationship
When I go into a bar I shout out "YOU CHEATING WHORE!" Whoever turns around is who I`m buying drinks for.
Its Friday ... my body is in for a much-needed drinking session
I thought we had nothing in common until I saw you buying 3 margaritas at a time.