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Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!

My password is SupermanHulkThorGoku, that`s the strongest password I can think of.
why does that idiot Charlie Sheen keep winning, and a good person like me keeps losing?
I miss newspapers. It`s weird hitting a dog on the nose with an iPad
The only time I`ve ever had a chip on my shoulder was when I tried to dump the entire bag into my mouth at once.
I do marathons ... on Netflix.
I never said I hated you. I just said that if you where on fire, I would consider roasting marshmallows. Big difference.
Hate to break it to you mom, but my friends do not care if my room is messy, They care whether or not there’s food
So bored at work I can`t even think of something to goggle
$10 says some idiot is gonna hear the word Ebola and think "that`d be a great name for my new baby!"
Get ahead of myself. Sometimes I
It could be worse. Spiders could have wings.
I hope I die doing something extreme like climbing Mt. Everest or telling a woman I don`t like her new haircut.
If Monday was a movie, it would be very long and boring.
I hate getting my picture taken. Especially in front of a height chart at the police station.
I swear Hollisters electricity bill must be like $1 a month..