Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
The irony of social media is that the majority of users are all alone.
What do sleeping and sex have in common? ... I`m not getting nearly enough of either.
Recipes sound good until you realize that you don`t have $846 worth of spices in your house.
I`ll bet other dogs must think that poodles belong to some weird religious cult.
I never owned a telescope, but it`s something that I`m thinking of looking into.
Sometimes it’s just easier to eat the last slice of pizza than fit the box in the fridge.
I`m such a thrill seeker, when I see a ‘Caution, Wet Floor’ sign, I walk faster...
I hate when people call me and ask "WHO IS THIS?"
A normal person is just someone you don`t know well enough yet.
The only thing I`ve learned from scary movies is to avoid pale children
If you ever hit rock bottom, bring some beer. I`m almost out.
Walmartians: Nothing says `FML` like these curious abominations of the shopping world.
Cheer Up. Right now, somebody, somewhere, is thinking about you naked.
It`s a good thing not everyone has a smartphone. Someone has to honk when the light turns green.
That time Homer`s arms were stuck in a vending machine until he realized he could just let go is basically what all of life is like