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Of course I talk to myself. I need to have an intelligent conversation every now and then.
FITNESS TIP: Set a regular gym schedule that`s easy to keep up with. For example, I work out once every 4 years after I vote for president.
My door is always open. So please feel free to leave.
I hate it when I walk through a metal detector, and my abs of steel set it off.
Just been informed that my spirit animal is Eeyore.
Always wonder why do people even bother making good quality pinatas?
It takes one slow walking person in the grocery store, to remove the illusion that I`m a nice person.
"I believe I can fry" - R Kelly filling out McDonald`s application
Don`t talk to me about hard times. My dog just licked the last piece of pizza.
they say winning doesnt matter then why they had kept scores
Hey guys with the super loud mufflers on their cars. I used to put a baseball card in my bicycle wheel spokes. I was 12.
Just how hairy was the dude who invented a shampoo called Head & Shoulders?
People who eat grapes are impatient alcoholics
Kids these days with their high tech cell phones. They will never get the experience of being stuck in a tree and not knowing if anyone is coming to help. Oh, and could someone come and set my ladder back up so I can get down.
I’m bored, think I’ll go to the mall, find a great parking spot, sit in my car with my reverse lights on for awhile.