Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I wish I had a dollar for every time I didn`t have a dollar.
They say the key to a fitness routine is having a workout buddy and that`s why I surround myself with lazy people
Everything happens for a reason. Sometimes that reason is that you`re a terrible person and had it coming.
Do people who run know that we’re not food anymore.
If your job title is head receiver, you know you`re doing something right.
Didn`t ya`ll know awkward moments existed before? Damn, its like the Yolocaust all over again...
Had a blast doing my Black Friday tradition!!!! I slept!
Zombies only eat brains. You’re safe.
Well, THAT Jehovah`s Witness isn`t going to forget anytime soon what they witnessed when I answered the door.
My walk of shame is going back for a shopping cart after realizing I can`t carry 23 items in my arms through the store.
My house is not messy. Those are just obstacles I`ve put in place for burglars.
It may appear like I`m doing nothing, but i`m actively waiting for my problems to go away!!!
Missed connection: I was a 15 year old boy, you were 1984 Madonna.
Day Light savings this weekend is pissing me off, we will lose a hour we will never get back...........wait...thinkin`.....I guess we do....carry on...
If you think this week was a drag, wait till you see what happens next week!