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cable TV.... helping us avoid Presidential speeches for nearly four decades
I have a hidden talent......I really wish I could find it!
My dad taught me righty tighty, lefty loosie.... that`s why I never dated left handed chicks.
Call me crazy, but I don`t think I really need to be in this mental institution.
Guys i did not copy or edit this status of mine.Please believe this is my own idea!
Hello is this HP? I’d like to make a return. I ordered a Laser Jet and you sent me a printer.
A few bad decisions really liven up a boring day.
What supermarket did the pilgrims visit to purchase their canned gelatin cranberry sauce? I want my Thanksgiving to be authentic.
Covers on, too hot. Covers off, too cold. One foot out would prolly be ok, but I don’t wanna be dragged from bed paranormal activity style.
Giving people the finger while driving just isn`t effective. Which is why I had the catapult installed.
Dear God, I´ve been very good today, no grumpy thoughts, no swearing and I haven´t been mean at all, but I´m about to get up now and I may need your help :)
What`s the difference between a Garbanzo Bean and a Chickpea? I never had a Garbanzo Bean on my face.
Card on top of gift reads `I want you wearing this tonight` only to open the gift to find NOTHING
Maybe don`t show me a picture if you don`t want me to rate your baby.
I organized a threesome last night....there were a couple of no shows, but I still had a good time