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Let me be clear, I don`t want to die alone. However I want to be left completely alone until that moment
If you are offended by the things I post on FB you can only imagine the ones I don`t post.
Smooth move.........ExLax
I`m hearing voices again. Probably because my window is open and there are people outside talking, but still.
Waking up is the second hardest thing in the morning.
Remember, laughter is the best medicine. Unless you have diarrea.
Roses are red, violets are blue. god made me pretty,what happened to you?
Daylight Savings makes us lose an hour... It’s kind of like Facebook.
When a girl says: "If you can`t handle me at my worst, then you don`t deserve me at my best"... What she really means is: "I`m a f*ckin psycho."
We’re all mature until somebody brings out the bubble-wrap.
My wife was so sick this morning that I had to carry her to the kitchen to make my breakfast.
If buying new underwear is evidence of an affair, my husband has been faithful for at least nine years.
My husband`s wife is freakin` awesome!
awesome collection!
My pet rock turned 4,054,870,001 today