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Dear guys: Women don`t want pictures of your d!ck. Maybe try sending a screenshot of your bank statement and see where things go.
When you wish upon a shooting star, all your dreams will come true. Unless the star is really a meteor about to destroy the earth. Then, you´re pretty much dead no matter what you wish for.
How weird was the first robber to wear pantyhose on his face
I know you seen me continuously push the "close doors" button while you ran to the elevator. Now it`s just awkward
If "The Breakfast Club" were made today, it would be a silent film about 5 kids staring at their phones.
Dear Life, Please, use a Lubricant.
dont love..dont hurt...keep doing flirt..:)
You can`t make everyone happy, so just concentrate on me.
This cold weather makes me half the man I used to be.
When a guy says "I`m Fine" what he is really trying to say is that he is fine.
You dont know sh!t about pressure until you`re the only Black person on the dance floor while white people clap & form a circle around you
Is it yoga if you wear sweatpants all day and then hunch over the garbage can as you eat a burrito?
I`ve been repeating the same mistakes in life for so long now I may as well call them traditions.
My girlfriend told me she wanted me to surprise her with a gift that will take her breath away. I’m thinking about getting her a treadmill.
My bedroom is perfect for a one night stand, but there’s no room for two night stands.