Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
I`ve tried several times, but I can`t pet a cat without plotting world domination.
Scream “Chrome is better than Firefox” around a group of geeks if you wanna see them argue for 2 hours.
u smile i smile u laugh i laugh u cry i`ll go get a bat and say who`s gonna get it
Just a reminder that you don’t have to tell Facebook goodnight. You can just stop talking.
If it looks like a duck, swims like a duck, and barks like a pig, then I probably took too many pills.
This girl says she wants me to butter her muffin ... I don’t even know what that means, but now I’m hungry.
I’ve decided to get rid of my bad habits…just as soon as equally satisfying good habits become available.
my imaginary friend thinks ur crazy? an shes hot!
I don`t care how old I am, if I go out to eat and there are crayons and paper placemats with puzzles... game on!
Everything is funny as long as it is happening to somebody else...
I got kicked out of the audience of "Cats" on Broadway for bringing a laser pointer.
It`s amazing how much more money I have when I`m drunk.
Please help control the pet population, have that special talk with your pet!
roses are red, violets are blue, I suck at poems.. you have nice boobs
I wonder if there`s a margarita somewhere out there thinking about me, too.