Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Do you ever have the urge to tell someone to shut up even when they aren`t talking?
Love your neighbor ... but don`t get caught.
Sure, Men love funny women. As long as they are pretty...and skinny...and they have a great pair of knockers!!
They say when life gives you lemons….but what if life hands you a rather large banana? What then, my friend? What then?
I hope the meteorite crash in Russia doesn`t affect the price of Vodka!
I`m already going to hell ... now I`m just trying to get a good spot.
The best thing about online classes is the beer.
Everyone always talks about the early bird. How about the early worm? How´d that work out for him?
There are 7 trillion nerves in the human body. Some people are capable of getting on every last one of them.
I always pick up a huge cucumber up at walmart and yell to my wife "you said you wanted the biggest one right" Because I`m a great husband
I just found out the neighborhood is having a meeting about the creepy guy. ..Its weird that they forgot to invite me ..
I thought she asked if I was interested in an orgy. Turns out she really said "4G." My apologies to the lady at the Verizon kiosk.
Dear middle finger: thank you for always sticking up for me.
I always get this dream where I`m driving in reverse ...Then I wake up and see that I`m driving normally.
That depressing moment when you dip your cookie into milk for too long, it breaks off, and you wonder why bad things happen to good people.