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I shook the vending machine until my chips fell, so yeah, I’m a hunter-gatherer.
Men like football because the priorities in football are also the biggest priorities in every man’s life…. Scoring and Ball Security.
If your house doesn`t have house numbers on it, you need to address that situation.
Behind every great women is a man checking out her a$$
I had no plans on looking sexy today, but sh!t happens.
I will die on a white floor just to mess with the chalk outline guy.
I have lost my mind and I am making no effort to look for it.
My boss doesn’t like it when I play slavery songs at work….
I love Christmas presents wrapped in bubble wrap... it`s like two gifts in one!!
Even if you don`t pay, they`ll usually let you go through a car wash at least once a day without a car.
Would the 2 Sonic dudes just get it over with and kiss already
99% of people in this world are stupid, luckily I`m in the other 2%
Day Light savings this weekend is pissing me off, we will lose a hour we will never get back...........wait...thinkin`.....I guess we do....carry on...
Don’t you hate when the person you’re Facebook-stalking never updates anything.
Hangry: (noun) a state of anger caused by lack of food. May evoke negative change in emotional state. Translation -- Feed me or I`ll kill you.