Your home to over 150,000 silly Facebook statuses! Find the perfect witty, silly, or downright funny status to share with your friends and family. Check in daily for fresh updates!
Is it hibernation time yet? Because I am 100% into that.
RIGHT NOW YOU HAVE: 3 fingers behind your phone, your pinky tucked under for support and your scrolling with your thumb! LIKE if Iām right
Hit me with your pet shark #RuinAn80sSong
The first person who discovered how to make popcorn must have been like "WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON!"
When I`m in a bathroom stall, please don`t yell "Oh my God oh my God there`s a guy in here!" Respect my privacy.
If noone comes from the future to stop you, how bad of a decision could it really be?
On the 12th day of Christmas my FB gave to me- 12 dudes I`m blocking, 11 friends just watching, 10 corny topics, 9 busted Barbies, 8 friends complaining, 7 stalkers stalking, 6 party invites, fiiiivvvvee drama queeeennss, 4 game requests, 3 photo tags, 2 friends a-pokin and a creep who wont stop Inboxing meee... ;)
"I wanna f*ck you so hard right now." "What?!?" "Damn autocorrect, I meant hey."
no..i am not drunk, floors needs hugs too ! :p
I try not to work that much. That way I make less mistakes.
All my passwords are protected by amnesia.
I bet the YMCA dance is alot harder to do in Chinese.
B is the best letter of the alphabet: Boobs, Buns, Booty, Booze, Beer, Bourbon, and Bacon.
Just called the fire department to tell them that dogs pee on fire hydrants so they should probably all wash their hands.
"I can`t wait for New Years to be over!" -my liver