Daily Silly Status

Is it just me, or do mirrors look really sexy?

If God is watching us, the least we can do is be entertaining.

I`m not lying, I`m just making the story better.

is accepting applications. Needed someone to keep me from doing dumb stuff. See previous post.

You know you`re getting old when you fall down and wonder what else you can do while you`re down there.

Its national shave your... Well, tomorrow is valentine`s day. Just an FYI.

Apparently members of the Westboro Baptist Church were outside a theater when the marquee gave way and came crashing down injuring several of them amidst their protest. Witnesses overhead many of the members muttering to themselves, "It must be a sign."

This girl is ignoring me like a check engine light.

I wonder if the earth teases other planets for having no life.

I dropped my affordable health care because I couldn`t afford it .

This is odd?!?! The hour we lost this weekend was the one when I was planning to go to the gym.

I will never miss you, because I`m a really good shooter.

Women my age expect a man to have his sh!t together by now. Time to start dating younger women.

My friend thinks he`s so smart. He said onions are the only food that can make you cry. So I threw a coconut at his face.

Is there really a need for constipation medicines and stool softeners in a world where burritos and tacos exist?