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Please rephrase your question in the form of a compliment.
Sometimes the best helping hand you can give is a good, firm push
People in love use phrases like “takes my breath away” and “swept me off my feet”. I think they’re confusing love with attempted murder.
I just want to read, have a snack, then take a nap. Basically, I just want to be in kindergarten again.
I wish common sense was more common.
All the coffee in Colombia couldn`t make me a morning person.
If you listen real closely to my kids arguing tonight, you`ll hear the sound of me pouring a glass of wine.
I love you in a bipolar way because I hate you.
It`s been close to a million years since I exaggerated about anything.
When choosing a name for your daughter, imagine her being announced in a strip club. If she doesn`t need a stage name, pick something else.
Much of my life is a contest to see which of the voices in my head can say the funniest stuff.
I got my stomach by doing as many crunches as I can everyday. Usually either Nestle or Captain
Nothing says lazy like laying on the couch making today`s responsibilities tomorrow`s problem.
I dont hate you but, if you put `just about to jump off a cliff` as your facebook statuses i would poke you
I`d rather be someone`s shot of whiskey than everyone`s cup of tea.