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There is a fine line between a sleepover and just drinking way too much at someone else`s house.
If Google can`t find the answer, it`s not a question.
Ya, Wednesday sucks but… it could be Monday!
I can already tell it`s going to be another one of those mornings where I`m not rich and famous.
All I`m saying is that if you were a real psychic palm reader you would of made me wash my hands first.
I`ll be posting telepathically today.. So if you think of something funny, that was me.
The guy that figured out babies instinctively hold their breath under water probably had a lot of explaining to do.
I wish I could lose weight as easily as I lose my mind and my temper
life is too short to match socks
Our brain took two billion years to evolve. Two billion trips around the Sun. All so humans can use it to look at kittens on the Internet.
When I was a kid, I wanted to be a Pilot...but apparently I was too young.
Apparently it`s ok to leash your dog to a bike rack, but it`s illegal to leash your kid to one. Parenting is hard...
Her profile said she was a stone cold freak. Turns out she was just a wrestling fan with bad capitalization skills. :(
Million Dollar Idea: A restaurant that offers Coke and Pepsi....
A movie ticket for a baby should cost at least $50.